Ode to Amazon!!!

If you live in bush Alaska, you can agree with me that Amazon.com is the biggest lifesaver since the invention of rifles. Living in bush Alaska comes with a high cost of living. Since there are no roads in or out of many villages in rural Alaska; gas and grocery prices are crazy expensive. Everything is flown in from bigger cities so prices are about double to triple normal prices.

You can expect to pay $50 for a box of Tide laundry detergent and $86 for a large box of diapers that normally go for $40 in the city. We order all of our tissue, diapers, laundry detergent, body wash, shampoo, juice, and other heavy items on Amazon with free Prime shipping. It saves us thousands of dollars each year.

The stock is limited at the two stores in town. You can find anything and EVERYTHING on Amazon. I even order my textbooks on Amazon. I also order baby clothes, car parts, birthday presents, and vitamins there as well. Just last week, I ordered an area rug for my living room for fairly cheap and it also came with free shipping.

The only things that we cannot get on Amazon are perishable foods like fruits, vegetables, and meat, but I am fine with that. I can go out and pick berries for free and freeze them for winter. As for meat, we are lucky to have caribou in our country to fill our freezers in the spring and fish in the summer. I can do without vegetables for the most part. Never been a fan of them anyways.

Needless to say, I love love love Amazon. I couldn’t imagine living in rural Alaska without it. I don’t know how previous generations survived without it. Whoever created Amazon is a genius and I will forever be grateful for their services!

Death in a Small Town

Today I began to list out all of the people who have passed away in my town this year. I began doing this because there have been two funerals this week already. I live in Unalakleet, Alaska, a town of about 700-750 people. Everybody knows everybody and everyone’s business. We wave to one another as we pass by on the streets. We all greet one another at the gym during basketball games and wrestling tournaments. We look out for each other’s children when they are playing out or running across the street without looking both ways.

I have lived here since I was 13-years-old, when my grandma pretty much adopted me after my parents divorced. I have seen many elders pass away and have babysat many of the new babies. I have witnessed, first-hand, the effects of climate change. I’ve noticed the winters becoming warmer, the snow piles becoming shorter, and the river ice going out earlier and earlier in the spring.

I have seen our culture dying out over the years and it saddens me. Just in this last year alone I have counted 23 people passing away. That is about 3% of our people! Many of the people who have passed away were elders, but there have also been young people in the mix.

There have been two suicides: one teenage boy and one young man in his late twenties. Just recently one of our young men was run over in Florida. Another man in his 30’s was shot to death when he attacked another man in his house with a knife. One man died while driving between villages in the middle of winter. I’m not sure of the details, but alcohol was involved and most likely he froze to death. Unhealthy living habits also took lives: diabetes, lung cancer, liver disease, etc.

Last winter a well-loved and respected elderly lady suffering from Alzheimer’s disease walked out of the village in a winter blizzard and went missing for months. A search and rescue team of more than 120 volunteers did a shoulder to shoulder sweep of town to no avail. Even in less-than-optimal weather conditions: wind gusts of 40 mph, volunteers swept the town, digging up snow hills, looking in sheds, porches and unused vehicles. Facebook posts were shared. Phone calls were made. Prayers were said. Day-in-day-out. Search and rescue dogs were flown in to sniff out the entire town as well as the surroundings of town. We all feared that she may have gotten lost and began walking up the river and fell through the ice. It wasn’t until the springtime that bird hunters came across her body on the tundra just north of the village.

Each person who passed had his or her own deep connection to the village. Some were parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, commercial fishermen, sock knitters, joke tellers, a place for others to go when they had nowhere else to go, a best friend, a water-hauler, a school cook, a friendly smile, a road grader, etc.

With each passing elder more and more traditions have been stolen from us. When my classmate took his life, many of us were left with questions. We had not realized that he suffered from depression. The accidents that took a few lives had us gasping for breath. Young children have been left without a mother or father.

In recent years death has been coming in threes. Everyone in town will tell you so. When news unfolds that a person has passed away after a long period of no deaths, people fear to hear about the next two people who will pass. It may be someone you have just seen at the post office. It may be your grandma who you thought was too stubborn to let go. It may be your classmate who secretly struggled with alcoholism and had nowhere to turn for help.

Many people tend to say, “He lived a long life” or “At least she is no longer suffering.” It’s so easy to say or agree with these, yet so hard to let go. It becomes harder to collect stories from suffering elders: whether it is due to them being hard of hearing, their memory loss, or other ailments. Many of us fear to ask questions because we don’t want to be a burden on them.

In some cases, death is so sudden and unexpected that we don’t get the chance to say, “I love you” or “good-bye”. We don’t realize that our last conversation would be at A.C. the day before the life-stealing heart attack. We never realize that our words can change a person’s mind about living. We don’t realize that sometimes all it takes is a smile or a “hello. How are you doing?”

In some cases the pain is not felt right away when a person passes. Sometimes the pain does not come for years. I was only five-years-old when my maternal grandpa passed away. I didn’t know he was gone forever. Now that I am an adult I find myself wondering if I would be more self-confident with a strong male role model in my life. I find myself wanting my great-aunt Alice to be at her house when I need advice. I want to go visit my great-grandma, Anna, and ask her about her childhood. I want to see her hanging strips in her smoke house and driving her four-wheeler through town again.

In small towns, deaths are felt by all. In small towns one person’s life IS a huge deal. In small towns, when people begin dying in the double digits in one year, you begin to worry. You begin to think the end is coming. With deaths coming left and right your hopes sink through the crawl space.

Our only hope now is to embrace those closest to us and to talk to our elders while they are still around. Our only hope is to continue the traditions passed onto us. Our only hope is to build one another up with compassion.

Life is far too short, but we make of it what we can.

The Day I Became a Mom

I remember this morning 10 years ago. It was about 6 am and I had been having horrendous lower back pain… pain that I have never experienced before. It began at about 3 am, but I waited until 6 to get up and do anything about it. I tossed and turned for three hours before waking up my friend, Crystal, who had been fast asleep on the couch. She came into Anchorage from Elim to help out with the baby when he was born.

I told her, “I think it’s time!” She jumped right up off the couch and started scrambling around to get ready. We got ready and went straight to ANMC. I called up my other friend, Megan, and asked her to meet us at the hospital. Little did I know, it wasn’t really time. I was only dilated to 2 centimeters. I would be at the hospital ALL day! 

Keane was born at 3:54 PM on November 14, 2006 weighing 7 lbs 8 oz.

At the time, I was a single, young pregnant woman trying to go to college. I was only 20 years old. I had no idea what I was in for. An older native couple offered to adopt my son when he was born. Because I did not know them, I kindly turned down their offer. My older sister also offered to adopt him because she knew that I was young and wanted to get my college degree. I also turned down her offer.

I carried my child in my belly for 9 whole months. I had his whole name (Keane Wyatt Carter Ray Wilson) picked out since I was three months pregnant. I was attached, to say the least. I didn’t have a plan, but I couldn’t give him up. I was not married. I did not have a college degree, but I had an amazing support group.

At the hospital, I was encouraged to walk around to help dilate my cervix. It was hard. Every few steps I had to stop and grab ahold the rail along the hallway wall. Megan and Crystal walked right along side of me. If I remember right I tried out the Jacuzzi tub in my room. It gave me some relief, but the pain was more unbearable than I could handle. The nurses gave me Nubain through an IV to help with the pain. It was not enough so I gave in and requested an epidural.

We waited for so long for the anesthetist to arrive. He did not give me the epidural until I was dilated to about 8 cm. I wish I could have waited just 2 more centimeters to avoid the epidural, but at the time I was a big wuss. After I got the epidural I remember freaking out because I could not move my legs. I honestly thought that I was paralyzed. At times I got so uncomfortable lying on my back so I had Crystal and Megan move my legs for me.

Eventually, the epidural began wearing off. It was really time. I had been having contractions all day long. It wasn’t until 3:54 pm that Keane made his debut into the world. Today we celebrate him turning 10-years-old. It seems crazy how fast those 10 years went by because I can remember the day he was born like it was yesterday. He is my first-born child. Because of him, I earned my title of “Mom”. My life changed drastically, but for the better and I would not have it any other way.

Free-spirited and full of energy now at 10-years young!

MOM!! There's a... white animal in the living room!!!!

Last week as we were getting ready for bed: Keane was brushing his teeth in the living room while watching cartoons and I was putting Cassidy down in our bedroom, when he comes running into my room to tell me something. “Mom! There’s a…. there’s a a a (really trying to think of the name) white animal in the living room!”

At first I brush it off, thinking that he is just pulling my leg. So I tell him, “No there isn’t. Stop lying. You are just tired. Now go to bed!” He’s like, “No really!!! It’s out there! It’s by the steps!”

Now I am really bugged, but can’t imagine sleeping if there really were a white animal in my house so I follow him out into the living room and we do a search. First we check by the stairs… Nothing. Then we look down the stairs… still nothing. Then we search the kitchen… nothing. We go into Keane’s bedroom. I tell Keane, “Look under your bed.” I told him to look because I sure as heck wasn’t going to! I could just imagine lifting the blanket and sticking my head to the floor and something jumping out at me. He looks at me like I’m crazy. “No! You look!”

Neither of us look because we are both too scared. Instead we start walking out of the room and Keane yells “Right there!” and points to the kitchen.

This prompted Reuben to come out of the bedroom to see what was going on. He goes into the living room as I stand in the hallway looking on. Cassidy comes out into the kitchen to see all the commotion. Reuben shakes the couch and sure enough, Keane was not lying!!! A little white animal runs from under the couch and down the stairs! 

I start shrieking at the sight of the little white ERMINE as I run into Keane’s bedroom and jump onto his top bunk. I didn’t even think to grab Cassidy. It was a “Save yourself” moment. Poor baby girl didn’t know what was going on. Anyways, right after seeing the ermine we packed up clothes and went and spent the night at my in-laws.

I still don’t know how the “little white animal” got in, but we haven’t seen it since. We have a trap set up in the crawl space. Maybe it ran away and was too scared to come back after hearing me shriek bloody murder! :P

This is bush living. Some people have pet dogs. Apparently we have a pet ermine.

ChAnGe!!!

It’s so funny how people change. As a kid, you might be happy-go-lucky and not have a care in the world. Then you grow up and you are stressed and worry about everything: bills, kids, school, Presidential elections, car troubles, bad weather, gray hairs, fitting in with the crowd, global warming, and everything under the sun.

I’ve seen so much change in myself over the years that it’s hard to recognize myself. I remember as a teenager hating watching football. I just didn’t get it. I would rather watch the Disney channel. Over the years, I began to understand how football worked (scoring, etc) and became a Seahawks fan, started doing fantasy football, and watching every football game on tv on Sundays, Mondays, and Thursdays.

I also used to hate school. I thought I would never go to college. I thought it was a waste of time. Then I went to Mount Edgecumbe High School and my whole perspective on education changed. 11 years later, I have a Bachelor’s and Master’s degree in Education. I couldn’t be more supportive of higher education. I plan on sending all of my children to Mount Edgecumbe and expect them all to get college degrees as well.

I remember enjoying chilly fall and winter evenings: walking around town with my cousin Tami or friends Venessa, Alice, and Alicia. Now I pretty much hibernate once fall comes. My body cannot stand the cold anymore. I get out once and awhile to go ice fishing or for a snowmachine ride, but I prefer to stay warm at home watching football or baking.

I remember thinking that my life would end if change occurred. I thought I was going to marry my first boyfriend. When that relationship ended, I thought my life was over. How naïve was I? My life just started after that ended. I had three beautiful children, went to college, got a nice job, travel when I want, where I want.

Entertainment has changed. Kids used to love playing outdoors all day everyday. Now all they want to do is sit at home playing their PS4’s and Nintendo DS’s. We used to build snowmen and snow caves and rake huge piles of leaves in the fall just to jump into them. We used to gather the chairs from the kitchen to make tents. We used to jump off our balcony of our second story apartment building onto a huge snow pile that was plowed the day before. Now we have to beg our kids to play out.

City life has changed. Kids in cities like Anchorage are no longer able to play out alone in their neighborhoods without fear that they may be kidnapped or killed because the crime rates have gone sky high. There are so many shootings and mass murders in the United States nowadays. I don't remember it being this way. People have lost their sense of humanity. It’s as if people forgot how to be human. Sometimes change is not for the better.

However, sometimes change IS for the better.  I’ve learned that I don’t have to pretend to be someone else to be liked by others. Why waste time on those that don’t accept you for who you are? I’m still learning to not sweat the small stuff. Life is so much bigger than you think. The world will not end if you fail one class. It will go on if you go through a major breakup. It will go on if you lose a loved one. It will go on if you get a bad hair cut or if you gain a lb or two. It will go on no matter what you go through.

Change helps you to become a better person. It helps you to open your eyes and see the world around you. It helps you to understand your purpose in life. Don’t fear change because everyone changes. Opinions change. Styles change. People change.

Dreams

As a teenager I had big dreams… dreams to travel the world, to get married, have kids, and have a good stable job. I knew from the get-go that I would provide for my family. I would be a good role model for the younger generations. If I went to college I was sure more youth would follow in my footprints.

Coming from a poor family has made me have to work harder to obtain my dreams. I had to rely on public assistance at times when I was attending UAA and had my two older kids. I was literally living off of scholarships and food stamps at the time. I remember taking the public bus everywhere since I didn’t have the money to buy a car---not even a used car. In the winter, it was so cold waiting for at least half an hour with two babies under two-years-old. One of them was sure to be crying in the stroller while we waited and waited for delayed buses.

Eventually I was able to save up for a used car off of Craigslist and life was easier. I saved time by not waiting on public transportation and was able to drop my kids off at a babysitter’s rather than bringing them to campus and letting them wait in the hallway with my ex until my class got out.

Now I look at myself and ask “Am I where I planned to be years ago?” Sometimes I think things could be better, but for the most part I have achieved my goals. I received two college degrees, have a good paying job with benefits, have a healthy family, and have a roof over my head. I still want to travel the world, but that can wait for a few years. I’m still fairly young.

Having dreams is important because it gives you a drive for life. If gives you hope for your future. I’m a dreamer. Always will be. Period.

Silver Slaying and the most beautiful Silver Ever Caught!!!!

This summer has been full of amazing fishing! The silvers have hit and we are forever grateful that they are filling up our freezer. Here is the biggest most beautiful silver I have caught in my life. I just caught this one last night below Bob Foote's cabin!

 

This fish was so beautiful that I wanted to mount it, but gotta feed the family! :)

There is nothing more calming than going upriver and throwing a line in the water. I love the smell of fresh fish and the feeling of a tug at the end of my line.

These silvers were caught up at Sauyak earlier this month. Keane loved it! 

My Bucket List

After much thought, here is what I have come up with so far. I think most of these are attainable. :)

•  Travel to far away places (Europe, Australia, Caribbeans, and somewhere in Asia)
• See my children succeed in life
•   Obtain a doctorate degree
•  Find my reason for living.
•   Inspire others to strive for excellence.
•   Meet a famous country singer.
•   Love myself for who I am.
• Laugh more. 
•  Shoot a bird. (Goose, swan, or duck)
• Shoot a beaver.
•   Learn the channel of the river past Jimmy Cragle’s cabin.
•  Have beautiful children. (already did!)
• Write a book.
•  Publish my autism research.
• Present my research to the public.

Summer Came and Went

It seems like June and July just zoomed on by. This year we were blessed with an over-abundance of blueberries. They were everywhere. My family and I picked seven gallons of blueberries just in the month of July. Unfortunately there were hardly any salmonberries-AGAIN!!! I'm just grateful to have my blueberries to bake with and eat with canned milk and sugar.

My baby girl, Cassidy, sure loves berries. I took her out berrypicking this summer not sure if she would get restless or enjoy the tundra. Turns out she loved the tundra. She was picking blueberries and filling her mouth. It was so cute how she would pick one blueberry at a time with her tiny little fingers.

My professional baby berrypicker!

This year was also a good year for humpies (pink salmon). I believe ADF&G counted over 3 million humpies in our rivers this summer! One day, my husband, son, and I went out rod and reeling at Egavik and the humpies were just boiling. We were catching every single cast! We ended up bringing 28 humpies home. I told my husband and son that we caught enough. They would have kept fishing if I didn't tell them to stop. Fish cutting is a lot of work. If my mother-in-law didn't take the fish I would be cutting for hours.

Another exciting thing that happened this summer was my two brothers and dad came up for a visit. Well, my brother Wayne Jr. came up, found a full-time job and ended up moving here. My brother James came up for a two-week visit. We have had so much fun going for boat rides upriver and fishing with him. My dad came up on the 4th of July and started working at the cannery. Work was slow for him most of the summer since there were so many humpies that were brought to a processor called the Akutan. Then the village had to go on water conservation mode. I believe we are on week 2 or 3 of water conservation. They needed a part to fix the water line. My dad was lucky to get more than 1 1/2 hours of work a day.

Oh yeah! Zac Brown came up a couple weeks ago! He was the talk of the town. Apparently he came up and stayed at Grishkowsky's upriver and did some fishing with his family. The day I heard he was in town, I told my husband that we should go fishing and try to find him. So we went upriver, but we didn't get to meet him. We did see him in a boat passing the other way as we drove up, but that was the extent of that. It's always exciting when someone famous comes to Unalakleet, since we are so small-town. :)

In no time, summer was over! :( I started back at work two days ago. I thought I would have all my silvers put away before work started, but the silver run was late and they are still slow to get into the river. A few people have been able to find the good fishing holes, but not my family. I think we put away 10 silvers at the most. Last year we were able to put away 10 silvers in one day. So, I guess I will have to save fishing for the weekends. Next year we plan on buying a subsistence net so we will be able to get more fish in a shorter amount of time.

The Real Cost of Breastfeeding!!!

After having my daughter, I made the decision to breastfeed. Initially, I thought I would breastfeed because it would save money on baby formula. Over time, I knew breastfeeding would keep my baby healthy. She definitely is a healthy, happy baby, weighing in at or above the 97^th percentile. She also doesn’t get sick as often as her brothers and they were formula fed. Formula is so expensive, especially in the village. I was browsing the baby food aisle at our local AC store and noticed that the price for one small baby formula was $25 plus tax. One can of formula lasts about a week so you would have to buy 4-5 cans a month. That’s $100-$125 a month. So for one year, you can look to spend about $1,250-$1,500 on formula.

Breastfeeding takes a lot of time and energy. If your baby doesn’t latch on, like mine then you have to get used to the breast pump. You have to try out different breast pumps to see which one is most effective. With my insurance I got the Medela double electric pump for only $40 (only had to pay 10% out of pocket). I can’t believe how expensive those machines can be. If I didn’t have insurance I wouldn’t waste my money on an electric pump. I hardly used mine because there were so many parts and it was so loud. It just seemed like more work than the manual pump.

The hospital gave me a Medela manual breast pump and I used that for the first few months. It was terribly slow and I ended up getting mastitis twice: once in October on our trip to Seattle and once in December on our trip to Honolulu. I was terrified because I didn’t know which hospitals would accept my insurance and I didn’t know where to go. I’m so small-town; so used to having the local clinic be minutes away. On both trips I had to Google healthcare centers and see if they accepted my insurance. I was literally in tears while searching online for a place to get treated. I had a high fever, chills, no energy, a killer headache, and cracked, bleeding nipples. I did not want to take time to search for a hospital. I had a serious case of culture shock during these illnesses.

My insurance ended up covering the cost of treatment in Seattle, but not in Honolulu. I ended up paying $250 out of pocket to get seen at this questionable clinic that was located in an old building on the second floor in what seemed like an apartment. When I saw the place I wanted to run the other way, but I just couldn’t. I had walked 20 minutes to get there and I had no energy and was in so much pain. I could not fathom trying to find another place. Well, I ended up getting a shot in my hip and had to call a cab to get to the nearest pharmacy to pick up oral antibiotics. It hurt to walk so having to wait in line for 20 minutes was not on my top things to do that day. Mastitis is one of the worst things I’ve experienced pain-wise, besides child birth, so suffice to say our trips were less than exciting. Each time I got sick we spent a day indoors waiting for my antibiotics to kick in.

When my manual breast pump broke, I cried. I thought, “Oh my gosh! My life is over. I’m going to get mastitis again and my milk supply is going to tank.” I was texting friends and acquaintances to see if they had an extra manual pump I could buy. I couldn’t do the electric pump. I just can’t imagine carrying that big clunker to work everyday and sitting in the shared public bathroom pumping with a loud machine so I had to get another manual pump. My friends didn’t have anything. I began searching my electric pump bags and I lucked out. My electric pump came with a manual pump. This manual pump ended up being far more efficient than my Medela breast pump. I could pump milk in 20 minutes rather than 30! It was a life-send!

Breastfeeding has been quite the journey. I lost sleep. I got sick. I spent quite a bit of money on supplies and medical treatment. I spent about 3 hours daily, pumping breast milk for my baby. Initially, I chose to breastfeed for the wrong reason, but my decision ended up being much more than I expected. When I got mastitis the second time, my husband told me I should just quite breastfeeding. He didn’t like seeing me in so much pain. I told him that if I got mastitis one more time I would quit. It has been four months since and I haven’t gotten it again. I plan on expressing breast milk for 4 more months. I can’t tell you how excited I am to get my body, time, and sleep back.

Here’s an approximate cost of what I spent on breastfeeding for 8 months:

Electric breast pumps-2 ($200)

Manual breast pumps-3 ($90-$120)

Milk Storage bags ($50)

Mastitis-2X ($250)

Lansinoh ($30)

Breast pads ($60)

Nursing Bras ($200)

Time- 3 hours a day

Lack of sleep (waking up at 2:30 am and 6 am to pump)

Cracked, sore, bleeding nipples

Change in diet (baby allergies-no dairy, blueberries, nuts)

No medications

An Unjust Justice System in Rural Alaska!!!

It was the summer of 2012. My husband and father-in-law were out of town doing a construction project in Stebbins. Well, I bumped into my mother-in-law at the post office and she looked a little distressed so I went up to say hi to her. When I did she whispered to me that she was robbed. I couldn’t believe it. Someone had gone into her house in the middle of the night and stole $500 from her purse.

I told her that I would spend the night at her house so that she might be able to sleep a little more comfortably. Anyways, that night I slept in the upstairs bedroom next to the kitchen. I laid there in bed, tossing and turning all night trying to listen for footsteps or any sign that someone was coming in. I heard nothing, but low and behold, at about 3 am someone came into my room in the dark. 

I thought it might be my mother-in-law checking in on me. Initially, I thought nothing of it until the person came in a second time and then a third time. I thought to myself, “So weird. Why is Annabelle coming into my room? Does she think I stole the money from her?”
My heart began thumping so hard and fast that I could hear it. Whoever was coming into my room took my jeans that were hanging on the chair and then brought them back in. The pockets had nothing in them. I don’t usually carry cash. Then the person took my jacket that was hanging on the chair and brought it back after a minute of searching through my pockets. All I had in my jacket pockets were my debit and credit cards and ID’s.

Finally, the person came into my room again, but began walking towards the nightstand next to my bed. I don’t know if he/she knew I was sleeping in the room or not. Once they got next to my bed, I opened my eyes and realized it wasn’t my mother-in-law. I could only make out the shape of a male in a dark hoodie. I sat up quickly and shouted, “Hey!!! What are you doing in here?” He was startled and began running out of the bedroom. I ran after him and tried to grab at him, but only caught the shoulder of his hoodie. He reached back to try to loosen my grip, but did not turn around so I could see his face.

It all happened so quickly. His sweater slipped out of my grip and he continued running through the kitchen and out onto the deck. He skipped the steps and jumped right off the deck. It was dark out so I couldn't figure out who he was. His dark hoodie disappeared into dark as he ran past a neighbor's house. I was so disappointed that I let him go. I wanted to be a hero. I wanted justice for my mother-in-law.

After I realized that he was long gone, I walked back in and saw my mother-in-law staring at me in the kitchen. She must have heard me yelling from downstairs. I told her what happened and how the burglar got away. We lucked out because the burglar made a mistake. When he came into the house, he took off his shoes and placed his cap on the table. Well, when I ran him out of the house, he didn’t get the chance to grab either of them. The cap was blue and had a large letter “B” on it. I knew whose cap it was.

We called the police and the next day the guy was arrested. It turns out that he had stolen $3,000 from the mayor’s house in prior weeks, but they didn’t have any evidence against him. So, the mayor was happy that I had caught him in the act and he was being arrested for his bad deeds.

For weeks on end I was paranoid about going to sleep at night because I kept imagining a man coming into my room at night. I kept mace on the nightstand next to my bed. Any little noise I heard, even the wind or furnace, would startle me. Only when I knew he was in jail could I again sleep at night.                       

I kept looking at Alaska Court Records online to make sure he would be charged for what he did. He was supposed to be charged with three counts of Burglary 1 (Class B felony), Theft 2 (Class C Felony), three counts of Theft 3 (Class A Misdemeanor), and Assault in the 4^th degree. I was so happy because I thought he would be put away for years and years. 

Weeks and months passed. I kept checking the Court Records. In September of 2012, I was disappointed to find that the prosecution had dismissed all of his felony charges. All he got charged with were 2 misdemeanors and he was set free. I couldn’t believe it. They said the reason for dismissing the felonies was because it was his first offense. How could it be his first offense when there were three separate occasions where he went into houses and stole items? How is the justice system just: just letting this miscreant go with a slap to his wrist? How is he going to learn his lesson?

One good thing about the whole incident is that this guy never came back to Unalakleet: I must have scared him out of town. I also got a reputation of someone not to mess with. :P When the incident happened, I was in the moment. I didn’t even stop to think about whether the burglar had weapons on him. He could have had a knife or gun. I just jumped up and went after him like a cat out of a bag. Through it all, I learned that I can protect myself. He may have got a slap to the wrist, but if he ever comes back and tries to break into my mother-in-law’s house again, I will get him and I will lay the smack down. Nobody messes with my family and gets away with it.

Rainbow Mountains

I yearn to travel the world one day. It just seems like that “one day” will never come. There are so many beautiful places to visit like Paris, London, Australia, Greenland, Switzerland, Brazil, and China.

I want to see the Rainbow Mountains in Zhangye Danxia, China and the Temples of Bagan in Burma. I want to row through the city of Venice at night under a full moonlight. I want to ride on a camel past the Pyramid of Giza. I want to see all the magnificent castles in Belgium and get a taste of real Belgian chocolate. I want to see my long-lost Eskimo cousins in Greenland and buy an authentic sealskin purse. 

Rainbow Mountains-Picture from Huffington Post 2016

Everything just seems so surreal because I live in a small-town in rural Alaska. My hometown is beautiful, but there is so much more out there to explore. I am 30-years-old. I’m not getting any younger. When my kids get older, maybe we will take a trip to Europe. I can’t see myself backpacking through Europe with kids though. It would be such a hassle. I’ll give myself a seven-year timeline to cross off at least one place off my bucket list.

I’ve been to one other country besides the U.S. I don’t know about you, but visiting Vancouver, Canada is not exotic or as thrilling as one would hope for. Seeing pictures of these places so far away just makes me so anxious. I may be small-town, but I’ve got big dreams; and traveling the world is one of them. If you are like me, I urge you to go someplace you've never been. Explore and save those memories however which way you want. Life is too short to not do the things your heart yearns for.

"Korean Soup"

“What is this?” I ask my grandma as I stir around this soup that I’m sure I’ve never eaten before. “Korean soup,” she replies in an attempt to get me to eat the unknown soup. I don’t know what Korean soup is, but I’m guessing she meant Chinese soup (aka egg drop soup). The consistency is like Chinese soup. It’s yellowish and salty like Chinese soup. It has cabbage like Chinese soup, so I decide to take a bite. I find that I like it so I finish my bowl of soup and go for seconds.

It wasn’t until later that I find out that I had just eaten crane soup for the very first time in my life. Growing up in the city, I was not exposed to traditional foods like fish, caribou, moose, crane, goose, seal, muktuk, and the likes so it took awhile for me to get used to my grandma’s cooking. She was constantly cooking foods that I had not eaten in the city. Many times she would offer to make me something else. Sometimes I just had Top Ramen instead.

If I were my grandma, I would be so irritated at how picky of an eater I was when I was younger. I would tell me, “Don’t eat anything if you don’t want to eat what I cook.” Well, at least that’s what I tell my sons now.

Even the thought of eating moose made my stomach cringe. In Anchorage, moose were practically like pets. They roamed the city freely and nobody hunted them. They reminded me of fat horses. I wondered what my grandma was thinking when she would make moose soup or moose roast. It tasted wild and different. She lied to me most times saying that it was beef because she knew I would not eat it if I knew it was moose.

Over the years, I grew accustomed to eating more traditional foods. Now I prefer caribou and moose over beef. I love fish and now enjoy eating crab. I still don’t have the taste buds for muktuk and seal. Foods that can’t get past my nose, cannot get past my lips.

It’s weird how different things are in the village compared to the city. My mom is accustomed to city foods and the lifestyle. My grandma is village to the core. I am in-between. I can visit the city, but I need to come back home after a week or so. I get tired of how busy city life is and the smell of fast food. It takes a few days for my body to expel city food when I get home.

I don’t think I will ever have to lie to my kids about what they are eating because they are so used to eating whatever I put on the table. I am constantly cooking fish and caribou and moose: well when I have them, which is most of the year. It took me awhile, but I have become more like my grandma. I learned to be thankful for what Mother Nature provides for us locally.

It still makes me giggle to think about how my grandma would lie to get me to eat healthier. I will always remember vividly the day that I ate “Korean soup”.

Berrypicking with my Grandma

When I was younger my grandma gave us two options: either follow her and my aunt out in the country to fish or berry pick or stay home and do household chores. Usually I chose to go fishing or berry picking. I liked going places with my grandma because she always packed good snacks: soda, candy bars, dried fish, Pilot Bread crackers with cheese, cookies, and chips. These were snacks that we weren’t accustomed to having on a daily basis.

We spent hours upon hours berry picking. I don’t know how she and my aunt, Jolene did it. My back ached after about an hour and my little legs got tired of walking over stumps in the tundra. Sometimes I would accidentally trip while walking on the tundra and my berry bucket would spill. This only meant I had to fill it back up with fresh berries. I had to learn to walk carefully on the tundra so I didn’t make myself have more work.

My aunt would tell us that we were not going home until our berry buckets were full. Sometimes my aunt would bribe us to fill our buckets by saying that the first to fill their bucket would get $5. Compared to their 5-gallon buckets, our quart-sized buckets seem tiny now, but as a kid they took forever to fill. I guess it didn’t help that I would stop picking every so often and snack on my sweet berries. But, hey! They were so delicious: so sweet and juicy and fresh. Wild Blueberries and salmonberries are some of the best berries on Earth. They beat store bought berries hands-down. 

After we got done berry picking, we went home and my grandma would pour my berries into Ziploc bags and we would hop onto the Honda and bring berries to elderly ladies who could not go out and pick themselves. Some of the elderly ladies would give me knitted socks or mittens in exchange for my berries. I didn’t realize until I got older how I got the better end of the deal. Knitted clothing is something to be cherished especially when made by an elder. I wish I knew where my homemade gifts were today as some of the ladies are no longer with us.

My grandma is 78-years-old and she still participates in subsistence activities. Each time she does, she thinks of elders who cannot go out and subsist and she shares what she has with them. Even when her ankles swell or stomach hurts. Even with health problems, (kidney failure and heart issues) she does her best to provide for her family and immobile elders in our community. I believe she is the hardest working woman that I will ever know in my lifetime. She deserves to be Elder of the Year every year.

I am so grateful that my grandma and aunt taught me traditional values. These values are important to pass on to our next generations because they are what make our community special. I am very fortunate to have her as my grandma. She will always have a place in my heart.

Save the Brave!!!

Recently there has been a lot of talk about combining the ANSEP program with Mount Edgecumbe High School to save the state money. I say it's a bunch of bull crap! I can see that both programs are great and provide students across the state with opportunities that will improve their future outlooks in life, but why combine them just to save money? 

I attended MEHS from 2001-2004 and graduated in the top 10% of my class. Prior to attending MEHS, I had absolutely no drive or interest in higher education. I absolutely hated school. If you were to ask me what I was going to be when I grew up when I was a 9^th grader, I would probably tell you that I didn’t care. I would tell you that I had no plans to go on to college. School had no value to me. It was dull and seemed more like a chore than anything else. 

This all changed when I made the decision to attend MEHS my 10^th grade year. All of the teachers were amazing. You could feel that they genuinely valued their students and took full responsibility for their teaching. MEHS gave me a new outlook in life. I met people from all over Alaska. If I were to stay in my hometown for high school, I would not have links across the state. I met some of my best friends at Mt. Edgecumbe and most of them are not from my region.

I am writing this letter in opposition to the proposal to make MEHS a three-year ANSEP program. I, myself, never excelled in science. In fact, science was my worst subject growing up. There are so many kids in rural Alaska who may not be interested in science and engineering, yet want the opportunity to attend the best school in the state. When we limit the enrollment to include only students who are scientifically and mathematically inclined, we turn away some of the greatest potential leaders in the state of Alaska.

You and I both know that the schooling system in rural Alaska is not up-to-par. Exceedingly low state test scores in rural areas back up this notion. Why then, would we want to cut off rural Alaskan students from the quality education that MEHS provides? I keep hearing, “If it isn’t broken, don’t fix it.” You know what? That is exactly true. Why take away a school that provides results? Why not fix the educational system where it really needs fixing?

What I cannot believe is how the federal government can allocate $609 billion in military efforts and only $102 billion on education. I pay taxes and if I were given a choice on where to allocate my tax dollars, I would put 100% of my taxes to education. We are supposed to be providing our future leaders with the best possible educational opportunities, not cutting programs that bring positive future outlooks.

Have we forgotten our priorities? There is a reason why our students are not performing as well as children in other countries such as Japan and China. It’s because we don’t make them our top priority. We are spending far too much time worrying about war efforts and other foreign affairs. We spend so much money overseas, that we forget to spend money on our own children. How can we build up other countries when our own is falling apart? Our hard-earned tax dollars are being spent on weapons of mass destruction rather than our schooling system: when the latter should be our number one priority.

I had plans on sending my three children to MEHS because of the effect it had on my life. Mt. Edgecumbe not only gave me direction, but it gave me value. In my three years at Mount Edgecumbe, I learned hard work, dedication, determination, and independence. I learned that I was a smart and well-rounded individual. I began to dream about my future and made my dreams come true through the pursuit of higher education.

My children matter. They deserve the opportunity to attend MEHS the way it is now. They don’t need to be rushed by a three-year time constraint. They also don’t need to be limited to studying science and math. They have multiple intelligences that need nurturing. Maybe one of my children wants to be the President of the United States. Maybe another wants to teach and another wants to be a pilot. An ANSEP program is not going to prepare them for their future careers.

Missions:

Mount Edgecumbe High School

The central role of Mt. Edgecumbe High School in Alaskan education is to provide a broad range of academic and extra-curricular opportunities that are unavailable to students in isolated home schools and communities. 

Alaska Natives in Science and Engineering Program

ANSEP provides a continuous string of components beginning with students in sixth grade and continuing on through high school, into science and engineering undergraduate and graduate degree programs.

Where do these two programs overlap? How can we expect all of our rural students to be potential “Albert Einsteins” and if they are not Einsteins does that mean they get stuck in their village? Please consider my letter when you make future decisions regarding MEHS. Our future generations depend on us to keep this great school going just the way it is today.